kombucha

Since my coworker gave me a piece of her scoby (symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast), I’ve been enjoying staring into my scoby slice. It’s my home slice.

I wonder how many different organisms make up those flesh looking slabs. Every day there are changes- new layers being formed. Weird strings of globs suspended in mid-water with fragments of tea. I say hello to the scoby and wonder what it’s like to live in a colony as they do. They work so hard to digest tea and sugar just to poop out something that I drink. It tastes like fizzy, sour, bitter farts and for some reason-  it tastes good to me. Life is so mysterious that this chemical process exists. 

Life is so mysterious that my co-worker gifted me with something I wanted in 2012. 

Perhaps this is also a reminder for me to roll with the mystery of time and how it moves this way and that. 

 

PTL

  
I’m leading a two day workshop on healthy relationships for teens with five youth and it’s been great. The youth I’ve worked with in the past are usually from low-income high violence neighborhoods and I felt disconnected. The young women I worked with today are from backgrounds I can relate to- Asian American, once-tom-boys, playing cat’s cradle in childhood and I had a really good time. They all had such wonderful perspectives and ideas and I loved being able to help them feel vulnerable to share. I got to be myself as well -without trying to relate to street culture. 

I one hundred percent know that I don’t like lecturing. I like sharing and I like facilitating and I’m so glad that God led me to this job opportunity where facilitating and sharing are the crux of what I will be doing. It’s still a bit of a scary challenge but a good one.

well made products

I purchased my first north face backpack “Isabella” from the outlet in Berkeley (near gilmon area). because the zipper was missing, I got 50% off of the already discounted price- and the final price I paid was ~$26. It lasted me from 2007-2016. I threw it away after taking it on a retreat where I got bedbugs from either the retreat site or my ex-bf who drove me home. The point is that it lasted me 9 years-retired not due to wear and tear but due to being a potential bed bug carrier. 

I’d contrast that to a fake Jansport backpack I bought in the Shanghai underground market for <$10 USD. It fell apart the first week I wore it to school. 

After moving out of my old place and realizing that most of the stuff I own is cheap crap, I resolve to purchase less items and only quality items that I want to keep for a long time. 

Something I’m excited about is a new purse I got made by Timbuk2. The outer material is made from recycled plastic bottles (as it is advertised) and it’s the perfect compact size that I prefer over big bulky purses. This will replace the last two purses I got from Ross that have both slowly fallen apart at the seams. 

Good-bye cheap crap, hello quality items! 

I think of all the crappy research journal articles that are published and the crappy books that are written- there’s a lot of crap in our world and I’d refer to those things as shitty things. Maybe a perspective on the purpose of life is knowing how to sift through the shit and find the good stuff. 

I’m pretty confident taking domestic violence hotline calls but when it comes to people calling to talk about a sexual assault that happened in their childhood, I am an utter fool.

jesus!!

in one more day I will be completely moved into my friend’s crib and I eagerly eagerly eagerly await that day.

reflections to remember

people who are loved well love well.

hurt people hurt people.

oh what a day

things I did today:

took car in for oil change, tire rotation, and new battery 

took a conference call while car was in the shop

moved some things to new apartment

went to work

drive to Torrance to speak to youth group. we are aiming for a cohort of 10 youth, we have 5 interested youth. I wish I got to talk to them individually, but alas, too shy. should have been more personable, could have been yadda yadda. feel bad though it went as well as it could given everything. 

met up with my parents who drove down to LA for the weekend. Took them to Sawtelle.

saw a passive aggressive email from my roommates about cleaning the mold in our bathrooms.

and now it’s nearly midnight

and I have no time to process all the feelings that have come out of this day.

God, give me rest. 

Amen.

neighbors and hi’s

I biked home at around 9:45pm after a spur of the moment decision to meet church friends at the new boba store down the street.

When I got back, I noticed a woman crouched under the staircase inside our apartment complex courtyard. Another guy was locking his bike to the same staircase.

I felt their presence but avoided eye contact, wanting to quickly lock my bike and go home to get ready for bed. As I’m locking my bike, I hear the woman say to he guy, “she didn’t even say hi. what kind of person doesn’t even say hi…” on and on.

I’m overhearing this and turn around and say “hi!” annoyed that she was so rude to me for being so rude to her. 

From our quick exchange I could tell that she and her son had moved into our apartment complex, frustrated at the lack of maintenance and the cost of living in this mad city. Everyone is literally mad, I mean on the road.

I think she just wanted to be respected. I think of what N reminded me the other day, “hurt people hurt people”. 

How can I see people’s brokenness and not take it personally but take it compassionately? That is the lesson I need to learn now.

JESUS SAVES

the day.

I’ve been feeling discouraged about not having any partners to implement our healthy relationships and social action research curriculum with.

today I got a call from the pastor we’ve been trying to reach and looks like he’s ready for a partnership.

looks like we’re going to be partnering with a church. my boss and her boss are both Christian. our agency is a secular one that works with survivors of domestic violence and also in violence prevention. we want to raise up youth leaders who can navigate that secular world and stand on Christ. Our agency doesn’t know that. 

Things just got real.

God equip me to lead out!

Friday-Monday

Today was the first say I took on a client from hotline call to her coming into our office to assisting her with motel vouchers to helping her find emergency shelter in her county. I was panicking not sure what to do until I realized that our staff don’t have set protocols for things because everyone’s crisis scenario looks different and we therefore join into the process of determining next steps. It’s like a cross agency pool of people trying to navigate it on behalf of one client. Sometimes it works well. Today, it worked well and it’s one of those days I can say “damn it feels good to be a social worker” – although I’m not on the licensing track so technically I cannot say it. 

Our client had cute kids. The oldest one was so sweet to his younger siblings. One of the kids drew pictures of monsters and spoke about nightmares. I wonder if this has to do with the DV he has witnessed. I pray they grow into adults who know the Father’s love for them so intimately.