This has been a hard year of confronting reality. I think the me of pre-2020 believed in the Christian feel good out-of-context words of encouragement “God will fulfill your promises”, “God is doing all things for your good”.
Those words don’t do anything to acknowledge the suffering of the black community at the hands of the police/white supremacy. Those words don’t do anything to acknowledge the erasure of the native community at the hands of colonialism. The destruction of the environment by capitalist interests of profit at all costs. The suffering of women and the LGBT + gender non-conforming community who have survived ongoing gender-based violence mostly perpetuated by men. The suffering of marginalized communities and others by people not taking seriously the wearing of masks in a pandemic.
This year more so than any year I’ve taken a break from the Christianity I was socialized in, the one that emphasized individuality, paternalism, and highlighted the theological interpretations of white men, who have used Christianity as a weapon to conform others in their likeness.
I’ve seen the lies that followers of Fox News and Donald Trump believe and the damage it has caused in perpetuating ignorance of structural inequalities and racism.
And in my own life, I have experienced a level of misery and hopelessness that is unparalleled in my 32 years of existence.
The veil that everything is going to have a Disney ending has finally lifted.
Life can be so cruel and so hard.
When there are such things like laughter and joy, peace and love- it truly is a miracle of God.
Out of Darkness 